“Nothing is permanent. Not what you own, not what you love, not even the
things that you think will break you forever.”
– Georgina Hobart
If there is one thing that I’ve learned since the last time I’ve written is that nothing is permanent. A few days after the last blog post I recorded here, my mom passed away. It’s been a long emotional journey since her passing, and our family has struggled as we have come to terms with the gaping hole that we were left with when she passed. Family dynamics changed, relationships and communication changed. Suffice it to say, EVERYTHING about our home changed.
It’s over a year later now, and while I initially couldn’t distinguish my emotions, I now have good days and bad days. The emotions wash over me like waves in the ocean. On the good days- I am surrounded and enveloped by the memories of mom and her laughter and I may even find myself overwhelmed by the funny memories of our cackling laughter while we told each other some silly jokes.
While on some tougher days, I may feel the depths of sadness that comes from being reminded of her absence.
And so, I repeat…nothing is permanent.
Yoga, meditation, breath work, energy healing and women’s circles have been what has gotten me through these past 14 months. I’m so grateful for being a part of, and having created my own communities to strengthen and support my soul.
The yogic philosophy, that nothing is permanent initially seemed really difficult to manage for me, but I’ve come to realize the statement applies to everything in life. Just as the seasons change, things come and go in life- trends, jobs, time, relationships, money, joy, sorrow, material objects, and even things that we buy, all too often break down over time or we grow less fond of them. Either way, I feel that it has served me to be guided by respecting the principle of “there is nothing constant except change itself.“
Admittedly, I went inward quite a bit during the past 14 months. I miss mom more than words can express but I know that I am not alone in loss.
Change. When I was having a bad day in life, mom would say “It’s not really that bad!“ Or “Don’t worry, tomorrow is another day, and it is bound to get better…!“ And while I now laugh as I recall the grimace I almost always had on my face as she spoke the words, the truth is that she was always right. Tough times always passed and pain always lessened.
While I was doing yoga, the other day, I was trying to hold a pose for an extended period of time. I could feel the uncomfortability in my body and my desire to transition out of it. It’s in those moments that the idea of impermanence seems so important. I urged myself to stay in the moment rather than wish to get out of it. Eventually, my muscles started to relax, my breathing softened, and there was a sense of peace in my body.
When I released from the pose, I will full heartedly admit that I could feel an inner happy dance that the pose was over but I had a sense of accomplishment in my body as well for having maintained it.
In the moment, I recognize that I have a desire to rush through moments. The trouble is, that if I rush through the uncomfortable moments in my life, that the opposite is often true as well. I tend to barrel through just about everything which inevitably means I’ll miss the quality of the amazing moments in my life too.
Nothing. Is. Permanent.
The bad times, and suffering may come, but it will also go. This understanding has helped me stay so much more present in my life and to remember not to run from the yuck.
Let’s remember to enjoy every single second of the good moments by savoring them, sitting with them, drinking in every detail. My hope for each and every one of you is that you will walk into 2023 with an appreciation for your aliveness. I hope that you have more smiles and more peace than hardships but I also hope that in the moments of struggle you are able to breathe in and know that peace is within you and that these moments will not last forever. There is always a knowing when you recognize that it is THIS MOMENT that matters.
If you have read this far, I thank you! Happy New Year to you all. I look forward to connecting with you all this year!